So a lot has happened in the past week. I started packing and clearing my room of basically crap I have accumulated while living at home for so long. And I noticed all these pieces of work, that I have created. All these efforts I have spent hours working hard on to become the successful artist I so want to be. And when I say successful I don't need a massive house to feel like I have made it. I told the art director of apple who I met with this summer that I want to be able to fulfil my dream of working in a job I love everyday. Also a trip to Japan and a car with central locking would be nice to. He said "thats so sweet."
It may be sweet to some but I don't ask for a lot in life. I do like nice things, but when I say nice things I like objects, art, food, places etc that people have put effort into. It is much more satisfying to eat a meal which someone has cared about, buy a piece of art that someone has put their emotions into.
So after clearing away all these attempts at success or an income. I realised that if I do move, there will be no money for me to carry on being an artist being able to work flexibly, dashing off to a meeting at a moments notice incase this chance is 'it'. I realised I was chasing the wrong dream. I was wanting to move out as I felt it was 'right', and it was time and I had been listening to the social life clock of the people surrounding me rather than my own path.
I like to follow through with every opportunity and I saw this brilliant cabin on a farm as one. As I have learnt through relationships in love something you think was perfect for you in that moment is actually standing in the way of something better, you just have to trust the timing of your life.