Thursday, 31 December 2015

sum up

I have never been fond of new years. For reasons that I feel it is a forced day. A night where you must have the best night of your life! And in my stubbornness and my basic instinct not to follow the crowd. I would prefer to go to bed at 8 and not stay up till 12 just to make a point, even though most nights I do stay up past that time. I have found these special dates now highlight factors what we are missing in our lives. 
New years - a social life, valentines day - a significant other, christmas - grandeur. 

Then again it really boils down to wether you care what other people are thinking or doing. I don't really care for either. Unless I am really tired then I am fucked, I will be sensitive and will care. This resulting in lately spending so much time making my room a paradise for sleep, so the doubt doesn't creep in. 

What I do like about new years is the gratitude people are throwing around for things that have happened to them for the year just gone. And I thought what am I grateful for? and to be honest I am grateful for myself.  
I just deleted a whole section I wrote on why I am grateful, and the trials and tribulations I have faced this year to get me to this point. It really is simple though I am tough little shit and always have been, and I congratulate myself for always pushing through the obstacles, the ones that people put in my way, and the ones I put there myself. 

'"you are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger". 
quote unknown

there is something in that quote, that sums up my year for me what I have learnt, grown and how far I have come. 


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