I like to be honest on this blog, so I have to admit I am getting a lot of anxiety at the moment. When the success of the show happened, I thought it might fizzle out in a couple of weeks. This is not to put myself down, but just speaking from experience. When you think something has peaked, I didn't think this high would continue. I am down to 57 paintings out of 500 in just under 5 months. I have two further magazine articles coming out covering this work, which there will be none to sell at this rate! I am a prolific artist yes, but I can't bosh them out to suit a purpose. And there are private commissions on top and commercial commissions also. Then preparing for a show in Japan and the show with Jacob bodilly. Listing off all these opportunities my life is pretty sweet right now, but there is panic. Will the money I make now be all of it for the rest of the year? like it has been most years. Will people pay more for my work as I have to put the prices up? Was it right to say no to selling prints to Ikea? On and on these questions go.
Only thing I can do at the moment is just go with the flow, and try to stay present. So all the questions which are aimed at the future take them to a point where I can answer them in the now. This doesn't stop me feeling anxiety which is having havoc on my appetite and insomnia, but it does help me to keep moving.
Roger Fenton in 1859