Tuesday, 12 July 2016


I often get told that I am a very intense person. I don't see it, I see passion and drive. And the person calling me intense or dramatic, is probably unaware what passion feels like. There is something to be said for the miss use of words at the moment. My personal theory is because we have forgotten how to feel properly how to truly be ourselves and speak our truth. I feel like a drama queen a lot of the time amongst groups of people because if someone asks, 'so whats going on with you these days' I will tell them. I wont hide behind my white picket fence and say its all peaches and cream chum. I will say what is going on that day, that might be the best day or might be an ordinary day or it might be a fucking shit day. Either way i am telling them my story. How are stories created? its through life! 
You don't read books about people having conversations on where is the best place to buy organic veg, or what funny thing your pet did the other day.  
Communicating properly is fundamental otherwise we would of been created to be mute! all animals communicate in someway. That is how you learn things, how you are shaped as a person. 
I am on my soap box about this because it is bugging me. We have got into this stiffling environment.

My views though are about to change. I was reading an interview with Hockney in Tatler and it is the same interview, which I have seen in the last 5 magazines. Smoking, being gay in bradford, Los Angles, how long he works. I admire this man a lot for his artwork but for someone who says he is so outspoken doesn't really seem to be. What is going on? Another person I admired was David Bowie I was devastated when he died, but he was incredibly private, and well known for that. They both have privacy in common could this  be a protection method? I guess so, I talk a lot about my private life to my friends as a way of differing from my artwork as that is my true private life, I don't want peoples thoughts on it. After recent events in my life, I feel I  have to become more like my idols and be more private. As its starting to affect me I thought as above it was great to share, but when people don't you feel very lonely in your honesty. And this loneliness has lead to vulnerability, and people can be cruel. 

I have other stories to tell, as I am a constant explorer of culture, maybe these are the stories I am meant to be sharing. 

acrylic on paper, Diana Jahns, E.M. Galerie, Drachten, Nederland.

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