Wednesday, 28 December 2016

burn out









Its the last week of 2016 and I am burnt out. I recently noticed that I have burnt out, when anything good happens I am not happy about it, and when the recent incident of the woman in LA tracing my artwork and passing it off as her own, left me in bed for a day (very unlike me) because it became the cherry on top for all the weight of the stress of the year finally came down.
And course I have burnt out, I wrote down a list of all the things I have achieved this year for my recent newsletter and its epic, some people only achieve one of those in a year. And also all the other behind the scenes life and work dramas to go along with the successes, no amount of yoga classes and green smoothies could counter it all. I did that dreaded thing and googled/self diagnosed myself online, and it is defiantly burn out.
I felt so lost this year, thinking about things, over thinking, then just trying not to think at all, just total mental overload. Its tough, I got to a point when I needed multiples of myself, one to relax, one to do the accounts/emails/business side, another to go out and network, and another to actually produce the artwork and another to go see friends and have a life. And from total love of my job/calling this is the first time I have ever started to resent art and my art. With everything getting on top of me I couldn't see through the fog, so I was really relieved when I got told its burn out, that its coming from another place.
As I don't want a repeat of this year, I have done a lot of reading on how to tackle burn out. Relaxation, unplug, cultivate a non work life, get organised, sleep, etc. I am harnessing all these into things for the new year, writing up a list of all the things I want to change, bring forth,  I don't care how long it gets. I am a big believer that at any point every thing can be changed no matter how life changing it is. I thought it was my carer I needed to change but its actually how I approach my carer is what needs changing.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. 
George Bernard Shaw


picture: Zohra Opoku





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