Monday, 30 May 2016


"When someone tells you it can't be done, it's more of a reflection of their limitations, not yours."

I have been revolving around this quote for the past couple of weeks. Focusing on it because of my current studio situation. I can even remember before I even had a studio I was told there was no possibility I couldn't afford it. I wanted it so much I mentioned it to everyone who crossed my path. And just so happened two guys popped into the pub I was working in and said I hear you are looking for a space. 
Few days later I shook hands with these guys renting off them a 3 walled room in the back of a barn in the middle of no where, for £50 a month. 
Then I spent the next 4 months doing it up; painting 4 coats of white paint to get rid of the grime, scrubbing the floor which had a thick layer of crap and shit on it. Filling all the gaping holes, made by bullets. Taking down the pine cabinets, falling through the plaster board while doing it. 
Then I worked in a windowless cold studio with no loo for a year and a half, because I LOVE what I do. As I was determined to have a place of my own to create my art. Also I wont have anyone telling it can't be done. 

I have reached that same point in my life where I come to a hurdle where I get told it can't be done.
I was told I can't put a window in the barn for my studio. To some people that would be end of the road, but for me its how will I solve this? I wont settle, If I know I can do better. So I have searched the internet travelled to Devon and London in search of a suitable alternative. And the chance to leap came at Chelsea Flower Show a studio office you put outside.

So I have my new studio arriving in September, right before the winter months hit. I will kit it out with a loo, log burner and the whole front and sides of the building are windows! I truly believe you are your own fairy godmother in this life. You wish for something, but its down to you to put it into action. 
The wishes 99% happen when you know what you want is what you truly desire. Thats tricky when you don't know if you are listening to your ego or your heart. With my art its always the heart.


Tuesday, 24 May 2016

keep knocking

At the moment I am trying to get an exhibition space that will suit the collaboration with Jacob Bodilly. I really don't understand what is going on with the world of art. I feel like I am chiseling away at it with a tiny hammer. It is a marathon thats all I can say, and sometimes your think you are knocking on a door and actually its a wall. 
I have in my mind to dream big and if no is your first answer that doesn't mean it is your final answer.  I am trying to find a space that will house these pieces of art because they deserve to be seen, I truly believe they will end up in a museum one day. 


last couple of weeks

- Grayson Perry, All Man tv series on Channel 4. Is probably the best TV I have watched all year. I think he nails every point on the head. I loved how he dresses as himself in every situation he doesn't change what he is wearing to fit in, like wearing a pink bucket hat with cage fighters.

- got obsessed with Almond Croissants from Bertinet Bakery. It was a short obsession which lasted a week because I felt so sick by the end of the week, but the are the best in town.

- went to the Hilma af Klint exhibition. An artist way before her time. I wonder if she was ever frustrated because she was creating something knowing that no one in her present day would understand it? but I actually think she didn't care and worked on her paintings because of her deep beliefs.

- attended a tri yoga workshop. Constantly going to new things in Yoga because there is so much to learn. Bring the art of releasing and healing to every day. I defiantly recommend this studio for workshops they get amazing teachers in with interesting new outlooks.

- looking forward to an exhibition in Bath! yes you read that correctly. Bloomsbury Rooms, a collection of paintings and objects created by the Bloomsbury group which are being reunited from private collections.


Wednesday, 18 May 2016

mad head

venus sextile chiron is building to exact thursday, bringing energy for creating harmony and growth from old wounds that seem all too easy to re-open. what's more, mercury slowing toward its direct station this sunday may find you relentlessly re-playing and turning over old patterns of victimhood and lack.
while it may feel natural to shrink from this influence and sever contact with anything that triggers you, i invite you instead to open. to give voice to your emotions — no matter how unseemly — rather than drowning in them.
this is a sacred opportunity to get back in touch with who you are and what you value at your core. to direct your outward energy in the form of truthfulness and worthiness rather than becoming small. 
when we allow ourselves to get really honest and admit to the pain, fear, or anxiety which threaten to engulf us, a marvelous thing happens: we open ourselves up to deep transformation. we integrate our experiences rather than denying them and suddenly discover a new path forward.

there's no way into the possibilities offered by this transit but by allowing yourself to become vulnerable. ask for help if you need it. give support where you can. 
and work to find beauty in what's broken so that you may find that transformative space where brokenness points you back toward belonging. 

I got sent this piece of writing this morning. its by Moon Quartz. So glad I did as I thought I was going mad. Which I defiantly already am, my nickname is mad head. But I was ready to throw in the towel to everything. I think when old wounds resurface, they play a huge part of whatever is going on in your life. 
I defiantly know my wounds are trust issues, and the ongoing feeling that good things don't last. I already feel vulnerable enough, putting my artwork out into the world is no easy feat, and I am hugely open as a person. Its the second part knowing how to fully unravel this transition part to find the new path forward. I don't really know anything right now or how to finish this post. But I think finding out what I value from my core is the focus right now. 

Luminous Mediterranean Painting by Pierre Boncompain 

Saturday, 7 May 2016

this week.. work wise

- worked with this visionary photographer Emma Lewis for me and Jacobs collaboration. As I have said before I HATE having my photograph taken because I hate the posing and also that I pull a weird face and look rubbish. But Emma worked through out the day like a cool breeze snapping away effortlessly. 

- I now have an agent to work on with contracts. I am lucky enough to of got put in touch with the art director of Apple, who has been advising me in times of crisis with my carer and he put me in touch with Big Active in London. I never wanted an agent because i don't want anyone deciding the direction my artwork should go. But I am not so arrogant that I don't think that I need help in the commercial legal side of things. 

- I personally believe it was a strike of fate that led me to get to know Polly Nicholson of Bayntun Flowers. I can tell you now I have produced some of my greatest pieces of work in her garden. I spent the afternoon there painting for my next exhibition. I have been pestering her about tulips to paint. As I have been trying to capture there strong forms without it looking false. And literally as soon as i drive through those gates to her house, a rush of inspiration hits me. She picks flowers, like I pick my materials I use. Very personal to her and with great consideration.

- started looking for a new studio. just because I need windows. my studio has no windows, heating, loo and has a few pests. But it is surrounded by fields, quite and dirt cheap. I am happy there but long term commitments are looming and the windowless situation is starting to feel like a dungeon. I moved in the summer last year so was always outdoors but over the winter I suffered feeling trapped. A free spirit feeling caged only leads to the need for escape. 

kate moss by bruce weber

Sunday, 1 May 2016

this week

- gravitating towards incense at the moment as a scent but also to flush out negative energy. Been saging my room for ages but now stepping up a notch. Incausa at dohmshop sounds good to me. 

- Jody shields writes a good article about being "too busy". defiantly my most used words at the moment. 

- places you will find me eating in London, A.Wong and Bao 

- went to see the Vogue exhibition at the national Portrait gallery. sorry but I found it boring. Very who you know. However there was a glimmer of excellence via Lee Miller and Man Ray pure genius their photographs. 

- stocked up on paper from Shepherds in London (right round the corner from A.Wong very handy). 

- favourite snack at the moment chocolate and cashew Qnola with strawberries, yogurt and maple syrup. 

- lacy phillips writes about always asking the question Why? to all aspects of your life. From same website how to balance your Chakras, to remove blockages. 

- song on repeat: high you are, branches remix - what so not