of late

- had my hair cut lately looks like the photo above. 

- video of the installation of Clare Twomey’s Manifest: 10,000 Hours. addictive to watch.

- obsessed with the Australian outback, or arid landscapes in general. Also like looking at pictures of Joshua tree which isn't to far from Los angles. Maybe its because it is the opposite of rain we have here, or it is the dream of escapism.

- I respect the opinions of the art critic Waldemar Januszczak who writes in the times. I always think he gives a grounded opinion. And he is open minded without being sucked into hype of the artwork he may be looking at. He writes for the Times and I always read his column in the Culture supplement. I found out about another interesting abstract painter who was way before her time  Georgiana Houghton. 

- watched the film zootopia last night. yes its disney, yes I loved it. 

- why can't we get nice planters over in the uk? always so standard. Lusting over the ones sold by garden objects. especially the ones made by anchor ceramics. Garden objects instagram is a favourite of mine to follow, she finds so many interesting garden related things to post up.

- want to work with these people on something. Love their photography and mid century pieces.

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grow

the last 24 hours have been very strange the atmosphere feels heavy I thought it was a storm that was coming not brexit. the current of panic in the air is making everyone very nervous. I am not nervous, all I think, this is change. Britain has faced so much before, this is just another thing to face. And I believe we have faced worse. I look at my grandparents who have seen wars, cities bombed and friends die. And yes this is a nation divided in opinion, but it is the money world that will be unstable the most, but it is always unstable, everything all the time is unstable. Everything I have ever known in my life has changed in one way it is about having a positive attitude to what has changed. Things can't go back, no matter how much you wish it. I never wish to not of gone out with the man who was abusive to me, as it  has made me a stronger person as i know I had the strength to stand up to him. I never wish I didn't get my ski accident that left me with seizures because I now have my love of gardening because of it, as I spent my recovery gardening. Its not the shit that happens to you its what you do after it is what matters. 

If you want to comment make it positive. Having a positive outlook in the dark times is what will see you through. 

Elizabeth gilbert quote

studio

Studio, studio , studio. That is literally all I talk about at the moment. I don't want to talk or focus on anything else right now. The moment I stop I think about how the guys I share the studio with are being shits making me move for a month and a half only to move back to the same plot in September.   Reasons behind it because one of them needs the space to store his home stuff while he moves house, regardless that I rent it. Also because they can. It is a hard thing to digest disappointment in a person. But as usual I found a quote to sum up this life event. 

"people will show you who they are, but we ignore it because 

we want them to be who we want them to be." 

Don Draper

I am defiantly aware of how there is a bubbling anger in me right now ready to kick off. Where would it get me? probably worse off not having my studio on the land at all. So my obsession for stage 2 is so strong at the moment to deflect the anger into being over productive. I am moving out sooner than was discussed because I can't work surrounded by people who have lied. Along with the anger has come a great process. I am always one for clearing the clutter, but this time I have nowhere to store it I have had to be ruthless on what I take with me. I always looked at photos of minimalist studios and thought that is not a studio! Now I know its just a person who has had to move all the time! Or that they realised you really don't need that much stuff. 

I was a true art hoarder for years keeping every scrap of work, paintbrush, bits of materials etc just in case that project would come about that I might need that little square of blue paper....

Now all I am taking is a selection of books, my plan chest, 3 paintbrushes and ink. There will be other stuff eventually but it will be a small space again I will be moving into. 

Yesterday I picked the crystal moss agate, healing properties are:

Moss Agate is a stone of new beginnings. Balances the emotions, releasing fear and stress.  Encourages trust and hope.

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of late

- rekindled my love of Moby, play his music all day long.

- watched the film Eddie the Eagle. Main reason for watching.. I have a huge crush on Hugh Jackman. Must point out though the content of the film is right up my street also. Never giving up no matter how many obstacles get in your way. 

- uploaded everything I have painted lately onto etsy. I really like to sell on there it is so uncomplicated and accessible. 

- bought the book Spirit by Dan Pearson. To give me some inspiration for the garden I am going to surround my studio with. I also love the way he writes. 

- article about Margaret Howells home. Minimalism goals. 

milk decoration

new adventures and new chapters

Literally just came back from holiday and feel the need to write. As I want to capture this moment. My week break couldn't of come at a better time to press pause. I felt while I was away to write down every little thought that popped in my head to get it out of my system. Also I had my phone switched off the whole time so all thoughts were my own. 

I came to the conclusion that I will invest in the studio, I read the book Yoga Girl by Rachel Brathen while I was away and there is a chapter about love over fear. Talks about the things that scare you build you to your most important parts of your life. Each time you overcome something that feels scary at the time it just keeps moving you forward. 

The other thing that made me decide to go ahead with the studio was because I want to be able to travel more, so by building my own place I don't have huge over heads like I would if I was renting. when I say traveling its not the usual strap a back pack on and do the gap year circuit. I want to explore culture.  Just 4 days in a new place once and a while. Put the breaks on my self employed life, refreshes my outlooks and gain new inspiration. Staying in places like Casa Modesta which was where I stayed in Portugal the place attracted cultured people to, I made new friends, and the place itself was just an overflowing source of creative details. One of the people I met there told me about a website where you can go stay in similar unique places across the globe.

 New adventures and new chapters. 

erin wasson in so it goes magazine 

fall or fly

You know that time when everything in your life is just a little quite, you sleep at night, you have a rhythm going. And then boom! you get blind sided. That happened to me last week with good and bad elements. I have had, very large commissions in which is wonderful but everything needs to be done within a week, along with all the other work that I am doing. Its exciting but wow it pushes you. 

So I was already stretched mentally when I arrive at my studio and the guys I share the barn with decided they need the space back. It was a blow because I have worked in this place for a year and a half now, made it my own invested in it. It became my sanctuary. So to have it taken away it was crushing. However I knew it was coming so that is why I had been looking for a new place. I didn't like having my studio under the roof of someone else rules, it never sat right with me, never felt like I could be truly free. So being chucked out before my new space was sorted, just made me think thank god I had started this looking process.

Even though I question my next step to put down roots on this farmers land literally a stone throws away from where I am now. I will be investing every penny I have to buy and customise a garden office. Its a panic because again you are putting your dreams into someone else's hands and they could take it away from you at any minute. I suppose though you have got to trust in the power of contracts. And as I live most of my life by Peter Pan quotes:

"What if I fall? Oh, but my darling what if you fly?"

I am praying I fly. 

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this week, and a bit about phone calls.

- best song I am listening to at the moment : California dreamin' by Amason

-I am researching patterns for the project I am working with Esme Winter on. they directed me to look at Cooper Hewitt archive. I mean wow! this archive is incredible 3 hours at a time has passed looking through this site.

- I have been scanning all my latest works in to sell on etsy. It takes a couple of days and is very boring. So been working my way through mad men series. I have always loved this programme but never got round to watching the last season. I found the last episode needed a little more explaining. And came across this wonderful interview with the creator. 

" He just tells Peggy, just move forward — that's his philosophy in life." (about Don Draper)

another extract from interview:

"Person to Person" has a personal meaning. The final episode's title refers to the three phone calls Don has with the three women in his life — Sally, Betty and Peggy — but Weiner said it's also about the phone itself. "A lot of the most important things in my life have happened to me over the phone," he said, remember that before texting and voicemails, "It's a dramatic situation almost every time when you answer the phone ­— if you answer the phone."

I agree phone calls are about bravery these days. In my quest to master any fears/worries that come my way, which could be hidden behind email or texting tennis. I just pick up the phone, hear the voice, connect. We already don't have enough face time with people I believe voice time shouldn't be cut out either. 

cooper hewitt archive